Letting Go
Image credit: Bas Glaap
“I realised that I wanted my characters to drive the plot rather than me shoehorning them into implausible situations
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This week I had my wrap up session with my mentor Melanie Golding in which we reviewed what we’ve learned and how I’m going to take my writing forward. Back in January, when I applied for the Dialect mentoring programme, little did I know how my approach to writing would have changed by now.
I came to the mentoring with the first draft of a novel in which there was simply too much going on. Too many characters, secrets, plot twists. Even at 100k words I still had loose ends to tie up. My novel had grown organically over several years and as I’d loved writing pretty much most of it, I couldn’t see what to keep or what to let go. It all had sentimental value. I thought Melanie could help me declutter, get rid of the non-essential items and get the novel into better shape.
We looked at character. Because my first draft had my characters run ragged doing so much darned stuff, they felt a bit two dimensional. Melanie suggested I spent time thinking about character. So I did, and allowed myself to play. I did free writing, exercises, wrote a couple of short stories, explored psychological theory. I attended two Dialect swim-write workshops which not only sparked new ideas but were also brilliant fun. I realised that I wanted my characters to drive the plot rather than me shoehorning them into implausible situations, which is what I’d been doing, albeit unconsciously.
I then turned to plot, starting with stripping out the interesting but unnecessary clues, twists and turns. Or at least I thought I had. I re-wrote the first several chapters but being the plot hoarder that I am, I hadn’t actually chucked that clutter out at all, I’d just re-ordered it, tucked it away in little cubby holes. I just couldn’t let go of those tantalising plot points. My plot was still driving my characters. That clutter was creeping back in.
Which triggered the hardest realisation of all – that perhaps the best thing to do would be to step away from my novel and start something new. I figured that starting with character at the core instead of plot, I could build this new novel differently.
So that’s what I’m doing. It’s tough letting go of it. Like, unbelievably tough. Initially I’d felt as though I’d failed Melanie, Dialect and myself. That I’d wasted all this time and energy generating words that would never see the light of day. Which isn’t true, actually. My novel isn’t going anywhere, I haven’t deleted it and I can always refashion segments of it into short stories or flash fiction. Or I can revisit it as a novel when I’m able to read it with fresh eyes, because only then will I see a way of rebuilding it.
I’m germinating a new idea at the moment and it’s exciting. I’ve started writing and I’m still getting to know those characters, but they are leading the way, guiding me forwards. This is a different approach for me. It’s like relying on cats eyes when driving at night instead of my sat nav. I’ll see where they lead me.
Audrey Healy is being mentored by best-selling novelist Melanie Golding on our Arts Council supported scheme.
